I think of all the years...how I've wasted them on Shakespeare, Spinoza, Aristotle, Chaucer, (but thankfully not Jane Austen).... only to discover at this late date that the true secret to life is Fantasy Baseball.
I cannot remove myself from its mysterious spell. All I seem to do anymore is watch baseball games and root for my fantasy baseball team. One of my biggest stars is Clayton Kershaw, pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers. (I almost wrote "Brooklyn Dodgers.")
About 5 weeks ago I wrote in despair that Kershaw had lost his curveball. Well, tonight Kershaw's curveball has returned. In six innings against the Washington Whatevers tonight (I almost wrote "Washington Senators,") Kershaw has thrown eleven strikeouts. And there could have been thirteen; but the umpire has not been kind.
Ever since I wrote the blog about how Kershaw had lost his curve, he has not been himself. There have been hints that his curve was coming back, but I think it was just wishful thinking on my part. In Kershaw's most recent game he only struck out four batters...highly unlike him.
Well, tonight the pitch is back. I feel much better even though I have fallen from first place in my Fantasy Baseball League. I led the league for five weeks, and I am now in third place. But with Kershaw's assistance I shall be back on top in about two weeks.
I just love this game.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
Breaking Point by C. J. Box
C.J. Box, in the very beginning of Breaking Point, cites Hannah Arendt's observation that the great evils in history generally were not executed by fanatics or sociopaths, but rather by ordinary people who accepted the premises of their State and therefore participated with the view that their actions were normal. The Enviornmental Protection Agency (EPA) is on the receiving end of the author's attack in this book, and (in my view) rightfully so.
However, the author apparently forgets this original observation that these bureaucrats, are motivated by the belief that they are doing the right thing, and that therein lies the terrible problem with the EPA.
Box instead, gives the bureaucrat-in-charge an evil motive (revenge) to explain the guy's actions, therebIy losing sight of the fact that most of the time the EPA folks destroy people's lives while believing that they are acting for the overall good of society.
It took me a while to get into the book. Seemed like a lot of blather going nowhere for the most part, and I put the book down twice, thinking I would probably never pick it up a third time. But I eventually did pick the book up again and I am glad that I did. I had never read a book by Box before, so I figured I'd give the book a rare "third chance." I was hooked when three fat women do-gooders, waving their arms came running toward a fellow named Butch on Butch's retirement property out in the woods.
Butch thinks they must be tourists in need of help. But in fact, they are from the EPA, and they inform Butch that he must stop working on his property immediately and restore it to it's original condition within 3 days or pay a fine of $70,000 a day to the EPA.
I am sure these fine ladies meant well. After all, someone must protect the crickets and worms and who knows what else...maybe snail darters... that call Butch's property their home.
Humans aren't the ONLY ones on this planet don't ya know?
Well, from that point on the book gets better and better. Calamity ensues. Great adventures in the woods follow. The EPA comes after Butch in the wilderness with drones plus an entire military style cohort of EPA armed agents on horseback etc. Joe Pickett, Box's protagonist, tries his best to play middle man, leading the EPA team into the wilds, but doing his darndest to save Butch's life. It is a grand adventure.
Full disclosure: I was once hassled by the EPA. They ordered me to build public restrooms on my property to accomodate possible tourists who might want to visit the wetlands. Very nice, well-intentioned people, but totally nuts.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Clayton Kershaw Lost His Curve
Walter O'Malley, owner of the Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodgers, passed away in 1979. I didn't know this. So when I learned in 2009 that O'Malley was being inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame at Cooperstown, NY, I almost went to the induction ceremony to remind O'Malley of our conversation back in 1954 when O'Malley asked me if I would like to pitch for the Dodgers.
I was a high school kid in 1954, and I had pitched consecutive no-hitters. And I was in the infirmary with a serious case of poison ivy. My face was bloated beyond recognition. I had eaten some poison ivy leaves on a dare. (I advise you not to try this on your own.) So in retrospect, it was a very nice thing for Mr. O'Malley to have paid a visit to my hospital bed.
O'Malley was accompanied by Lindy Remmagino, who had won the gold medal at the 1954 Olympics in the 100 meter dash. Lindy was being heralded as "The Fastest Man in the World." I thank them both in retrospect for their most kind visit to the hospital bed of this very stupid kid.
My school was having its annual sports dinner, and that's why these guys were there. O'Malley used to donate all the baseball equipment to our school, and I think Lindy was attending Manhattan College which was run by the Christian Brothers, and at the time I was studying to become a Christian Brother. So that's the connection. My conversation with O'Malley went like this:
O'Malley said: "I heard that you pitched consecutive no-hitters."
I said: "Yeah."
O'Malley said: "Only one guy in the Major Leagues ever pitched consecutive no-hitters. Do you know his name?"
I said: "No."
O'Malley told me the pitcher's name. (The record still stands. Find out for yourselves who the pitcher was.)
I said: "Uh-huh."
O'Malley said: "How would you like to pitch for the Brooklyn Dodgers?"
I said: "No, thanks."
O'Malley said: "Why not?"
I said: "I'm a Giant's fan."
O'Malley cracked up like that was the funniest thing he had ever heard.
The reason I'm telling you this is to let you know that I know a little bit about pitching. Not much. Just a little bit.
Well, I watched Clayton Kershaw pitch his last two games and he has not pitched well. He pitched really well in his first game. His curve ball was working beautifully. Baseball was back. Life was fine. Birds were singing, and flower buds were budding on tree branches, and all was well. But then came games two and three. Something was amiss. Kershaw was feeling lost. I shared his agony. Clayton Kershaw had lost his curveball!
Have no fear...his curve ball will return sooner or later and it will once again be a devastating pitch, but without his curve ball, Kershaw is lost in the wilderness. He knows not what to do. I am sure of this. I have been in that wilderness.
At one point in last night's game I told myself Kershaw was going to throw his next pitch into the dirt somewhere about half-way between the pitcher's mound and home plate. And that's what he did. It's like he was talking to the baseball and telling it "you're supposed to dive down, and if you don't dive down on your own I'll give you some assistance." And he gave it some assistance, which combined with the proper spin, made the ball only travel half the needed distance before crashing to the ground.
Back in the day, we called this pitch "the sinker." The pitch we called "the curve" was what today is called "the slider." Hardly anyone in high school could throw the sinker, so although I could throw the pitch, I never actually experienced its effect from the batter's point of view.
Then one day I played against a new pitcher. He had come to the Novitiate, which had some older guys who had decided to try out the religious life, so he was a few years older than the rest of us in the pre-Novitiate. The word on this guy was that he had been on the All American college baseball team. He had pitched for Michigan State (to the best of my recollection.)
So I finally got to see the curve ball from a batter's perspective. The pitch cannot be believed. When you watch someone throw a curve ball on TV you probably wonder why the batter doesn't just stand there and do nothing? Why does he swing at a ball that is bouncing in the dirt in front of the plate?
Well, from the batter's perspective, the ball is coming at him about waist high. So the batter swings. Half way through the batter's swing the ball vanishes from the batter's sight. "Where did it go? It was right here just a second ago.." the batter thinks, and the ball drops into the dirt as if it just fell off a table. The catcher doesn't handle it well either. The curve ball bounces off the dirt, hits him in his chest guard or maybe in his mask, or maybe it ends up hitting his glove, but usually he has to scramble to get the damn thing before it gets entirely away from him and allows base runners to advance.
Back in the day we usually called it a "drop ball." It is as if the ball suddenly falls off a table of air. It is unbelievable.
So my message to Kershaw is "Don't worry, Clayton, your curve shall return one day. I've been there. I know. One day...maybe as soon as your next start...your curve ball will be back. You won't understand this because you won't be throwing the pitch any differently than you were throwing it when your curve ball disappeared. You will throw it at the same velocity and the same angle, and now it will take that magic plunge into the dirt just before it reaches home plate. I don't know why this happens, why the curve ball comes and goes like this, but it does. Just be thankful it has come back to you and hope it never happens again. (it will).
And I will be just as glad as you will be when your curve returns, because I think you are a great pitcher and I enjoy watching you pitch. Besides which, you're the main pitcher on my fantasy team's pitching staff. I need you to get that pitch back soon. Have mercy on me! I won't be in 1st place much longer without your help.
And okay. Okay. The guy who pitched consecutive no-hit games? It was Johnny Vandermeer.
***follow up***
In Kershaw's next start he pitched against the Mets. It took him 111 pitches to get through 5 innings with a measley 4 strikeouts. He only threw 1 decent curveball that I saw.
Today, Sunday April 28th, Kershaw took 76 pitches to go 5 innings against The Brewers. He has 8 strikeouts. He has retired 12 consecutive batters to this point. (the game is still going on.) Kershaw is back. He just struck out his 9th man. He used his curveball.
I was a high school kid in 1954, and I had pitched consecutive no-hitters. And I was in the infirmary with a serious case of poison ivy. My face was bloated beyond recognition. I had eaten some poison ivy leaves on a dare. (I advise you not to try this on your own.) So in retrospect, it was a very nice thing for Mr. O'Malley to have paid a visit to my hospital bed.
O'Malley was accompanied by Lindy Remmagino, who had won the gold medal at the 1954 Olympics in the 100 meter dash. Lindy was being heralded as "The Fastest Man in the World." I thank them both in retrospect for their most kind visit to the hospital bed of this very stupid kid.
My school was having its annual sports dinner, and that's why these guys were there. O'Malley used to donate all the baseball equipment to our school, and I think Lindy was attending Manhattan College which was run by the Christian Brothers, and at the time I was studying to become a Christian Brother. So that's the connection. My conversation with O'Malley went like this:
O'Malley said: "I heard that you pitched consecutive no-hitters."
I said: "Yeah."
O'Malley said: "Only one guy in the Major Leagues ever pitched consecutive no-hitters. Do you know his name?"
I said: "No."
O'Malley told me the pitcher's name. (The record still stands. Find out for yourselves who the pitcher was.)
I said: "Uh-huh."
O'Malley said: "How would you like to pitch for the Brooklyn Dodgers?"
I said: "No, thanks."
O'Malley said: "Why not?"
I said: "I'm a Giant's fan."
O'Malley cracked up like that was the funniest thing he had ever heard.
The reason I'm telling you this is to let you know that I know a little bit about pitching. Not much. Just a little bit.
Well, I watched Clayton Kershaw pitch his last two games and he has not pitched well. He pitched really well in his first game. His curve ball was working beautifully. Baseball was back. Life was fine. Birds were singing, and flower buds were budding on tree branches, and all was well. But then came games two and three. Something was amiss. Kershaw was feeling lost. I shared his agony. Clayton Kershaw had lost his curveball!
Have no fear...his curve ball will return sooner or later and it will once again be a devastating pitch, but without his curve ball, Kershaw is lost in the wilderness. He knows not what to do. I am sure of this. I have been in that wilderness.
At one point in last night's game I told myself Kershaw was going to throw his next pitch into the dirt somewhere about half-way between the pitcher's mound and home plate. And that's what he did. It's like he was talking to the baseball and telling it "you're supposed to dive down, and if you don't dive down on your own I'll give you some assistance." And he gave it some assistance, which combined with the proper spin, made the ball only travel half the needed distance before crashing to the ground.
Back in the day, we called this pitch "the sinker." The pitch we called "the curve" was what today is called "the slider." Hardly anyone in high school could throw the sinker, so although I could throw the pitch, I never actually experienced its effect from the batter's point of view.
Then one day I played against a new pitcher. He had come to the Novitiate, which had some older guys who had decided to try out the religious life, so he was a few years older than the rest of us in the pre-Novitiate. The word on this guy was that he had been on the All American college baseball team. He had pitched for Michigan State (to the best of my recollection.)
So I finally got to see the curve ball from a batter's perspective. The pitch cannot be believed. When you watch someone throw a curve ball on TV you probably wonder why the batter doesn't just stand there and do nothing? Why does he swing at a ball that is bouncing in the dirt in front of the plate?
Well, from the batter's perspective, the ball is coming at him about waist high. So the batter swings. Half way through the batter's swing the ball vanishes from the batter's sight. "Where did it go? It was right here just a second ago.." the batter thinks, and the ball drops into the dirt as if it just fell off a table. The catcher doesn't handle it well either. The curve ball bounces off the dirt, hits him in his chest guard or maybe in his mask, or maybe it ends up hitting his glove, but usually he has to scramble to get the damn thing before it gets entirely away from him and allows base runners to advance.
Back in the day we usually called it a "drop ball." It is as if the ball suddenly falls off a table of air. It is unbelievable.
So my message to Kershaw is "Don't worry, Clayton, your curve shall return one day. I've been there. I know. One day...maybe as soon as your next start...your curve ball will be back. You won't understand this because you won't be throwing the pitch any differently than you were throwing it when your curve ball disappeared. You will throw it at the same velocity and the same angle, and now it will take that magic plunge into the dirt just before it reaches home plate. I don't know why this happens, why the curve ball comes and goes like this, but it does. Just be thankful it has come back to you and hope it never happens again. (it will).
And I will be just as glad as you will be when your curve returns, because I think you are a great pitcher and I enjoy watching you pitch. Besides which, you're the main pitcher on my fantasy team's pitching staff. I need you to get that pitch back soon. Have mercy on me! I won't be in 1st place much longer without your help.
And okay. Okay. The guy who pitched consecutive no-hit games? It was Johnny Vandermeer.
***follow up***
In Kershaw's next start he pitched against the Mets. It took him 111 pitches to get through 5 innings with a measley 4 strikeouts. He only threw 1 decent curveball that I saw.
Today, Sunday April 28th, Kershaw took 76 pitches to go 5 innings against The Brewers. He has 8 strikeouts. He has retired 12 consecutive batters to this point. (the game is still going on.) Kershaw is back. He just struck out his 9th man. He used his curveball.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
42,42,42,42...Who's the 42 on 1st? / C. J. Box
I can't watch baseball anymore. Every player is wearing #42. Yeah, yeah, Jackie Robinson was a great player. Also a great guy. I agree. But enough already!
Maybe everybody wears Jackie's #42 on the back of their uniform for ONE DAY. I can live with that. But this is the day after Jackie Robinson Day and all the ballplayers are still wearing #42.
The numbers on the uniforms are put there to help us identify the players from a distance. When everyone wears the same number nobody can tell who's who, unless they get really close...(like the umpires who, by the way, are also wearing little patches on their sleeves with the # 42), so the whole point of wearing numbers is lost.
I try to watch baseball on TV but I get a headache. I love fantasy baseball, and I'd love to watch the games, so someone kindly inform me when this 42 madness ends. Thank you.
As you probably know, I am an Amazon Vine reviewer. Publishers mail me books for free and I read them and write reviews. I take my responsibility seriously. If I get a free book I always write a review even though I am only required to write a review of 80% of the books I receive.
Well, I have received a lot of books and I have reviewed 100% of them. So I was annoyed the other day when I received an email from Amazon Vine telling me they have changed their policy and I am now required to review 100% of the books I receive. As the kids say,..."Duh?"
The new policy goes into effect in May. Meanwhile, I had received a book to review. The book is Breaking Point by C. J. Box. Although I have been quite busy with taxes and fantasy baseball etc., I had fully intended to read Breaking Point and to write my review as usual.
But this is my final opportunity to not write a review and still qualify to receive further books. So far I enjoy the book very much. I am not sure at this point whether or not I'll write a review for Amazon Vine. I feel a bit miffed by them.
But fear not. Although I may not write a review for Amazon Vine, I shall certainly write a review for readers of my blog.
I am wearing #42 on the back of my undershirt. I bought Velcro numbers. When we celebrate Willie Mays Month I can just reverse the numbers. Willie was the greatest! Say Hey, kid!
Be well, y'all.
Maybe everybody wears Jackie's #42 on the back of their uniform for ONE DAY. I can live with that. But this is the day after Jackie Robinson Day and all the ballplayers are still wearing #42.
The numbers on the uniforms are put there to help us identify the players from a distance. When everyone wears the same number nobody can tell who's who, unless they get really close...(like the umpires who, by the way, are also wearing little patches on their sleeves with the # 42), so the whole point of wearing numbers is lost.
I try to watch baseball on TV but I get a headache. I love fantasy baseball, and I'd love to watch the games, so someone kindly inform me when this 42 madness ends. Thank you.
As you probably know, I am an Amazon Vine reviewer. Publishers mail me books for free and I read them and write reviews. I take my responsibility seriously. If I get a free book I always write a review even though I am only required to write a review of 80% of the books I receive.
Well, I have received a lot of books and I have reviewed 100% of them. So I was annoyed the other day when I received an email from Amazon Vine telling me they have changed their policy and I am now required to review 100% of the books I receive. As the kids say,..."Duh?"
The new policy goes into effect in May. Meanwhile, I had received a book to review. The book is Breaking Point by C. J. Box. Although I have been quite busy with taxes and fantasy baseball etc., I had fully intended to read Breaking Point and to write my review as usual.
But this is my final opportunity to not write a review and still qualify to receive further books. So far I enjoy the book very much. I am not sure at this point whether or not I'll write a review for Amazon Vine. I feel a bit miffed by them.
But fear not. Although I may not write a review for Amazon Vine, I shall certainly write a review for readers of my blog.
I am wearing #42 on the back of my undershirt. I bought Velcro numbers. When we celebrate Willie Mays Month I can just reverse the numbers. Willie was the greatest! Say Hey, kid!
Be well, y'all.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Roolz of the Game
The Mountain Lion Operating System Sucks.
I just wrote two paragraphs and they disappeared. This sort of bother happens quite often. Sometimes my writing on this blog disappears but I find it has been saved in draft format, and I can retrieve it. Sometimes, like today, my writing just totally disappears into the maw of dark energy spacetime. It has gone forever.
Today's baseball games are all night games but for one. Yes, baseball is back being played at night which is as it should be. So today I have some breathing room. I can come out of the realm of fantasy baseball for a few hours and see what is going on elsewhere in the world.
But first a word on The Rules. Every game must have rules. Fantasy Baseball is no exception. So when one of my top top pitchers, Yu Darvish, got a blister on his pitching finger and had to be removed from Sunday's game, I panicked.
One rule requires that each week prior to the start of the first baseball game on Monday, all players must submit their team lineups for the week. A second rule says that the lineup you submit may not include an injured player.
Now, Yu Darvish's blister was a minor injury which would not prevent Yu from pitching on schedule in the upcoming week. However, it was an injury, and sure enough, a tiny icon appeared next to Yu Darvish's name. The icon was a red square with a white cross inside the square. Darvish had been determined by the league to be an injured player.
The penalty for submitting a non-conforming lineup is you lose all your points for the week in question. I am in first place in my league after the first week of play, ( music please. I prefer "Leader of the Pack" Vroom! Vroom! ) but getting hit with such a huge penalty would certainly knock me into last place.
I doubted that this is what the rule intended to accomplish, so I sought help; but time was short. It was Sunday night and I needed an answer by early Monday afternoon, which out here on the West Coast is early Monday morning. So I wrote to the commissioner for clarification.
Monday morning brought no answer from the commish, so I wrote once again.
But the deadline for submitting my lineup got closer and closer, and at the last moment, having received no response, I played it safe. I removed Yu Darvish from my lineup. This left me without the services of the second or third best pitcher in baseball for week 2 of the contest, but what else could I do?
After the deadline had come and gone I received an email from a commissioner. It said that my team lineup was legal.
Of course it was legal! I had just removed Yu Darvish from my lineup, removing any question of the lineup's legality! But my original question remained unanswered.
Later, I received another email (apparently from another commissioner,) (remember: I had written two emails....) The second email said that my lineup would have been illegal and I would have lost all my points for week 2 of the contest.
Sigh of relief. I had done the right thing by removing Yu.
But my interest had been piqued. Out of curiosity, I checked the lineups of my competitors. Of the 9 other teams in my league, 6 included injured players in their lineups. One lineup contained 3 injured players. Were these six other teams all going to receive that terrible penalty?
Well, I wrote the second commissioner another email. I said I didn't want to cause a fuss, but there were six other teams in my league with injured players in their starting lineups. If it was okay for these teams to have injured players in their starting lineups, could I please re-insert Yu Darvish back into my lineup just to keep the playing field even.
The commish responded. He said it is okay to have injured players on your active lineup.
Of course, by then the deadline for submitting the weekly lineup had long passed, and I could not re-insert Yu Darvish into my lineup.
If this confuses you, imagine how it confused me. Well, I've been around this planet for seventy-three years and I knew how this was going to end. The situation was going to end up with me losing Yu Darvish from my lineup for week 2 of the contest, and nobody getting penalized for anything.
So I wrote back to the commissioner, thanking him for clarifying the issue for me; and I told him that in week 3 I was going to load my active lineup with injured players, thereby freeing up a spot for another player on my Reserves team, and maintaining my team's high batting average. I also directed his attention to the section of the rules which indicates that the maximum number of injured players a team may have in its lineup is zero. Go To: League > Details. I asked the commissioner what he thinks it means.
I don't expect a response.
Hey.... I like to end on a positive note, so here it is... Nobody claimed Will Middlebrooks off waivers!
I had commited a huge paux-fas last week, accidentally giving away Will Middlebrooks to anyone who wanted him. A day later, Middlebrooks hit three home runs and a double, and he hit another long fly ball which was caught on the warning track. No Red Sox player has ever hit four home runs in a single game, and Will Middlebrooks came as close to doing it as you possibly can. And none of the other owners noticed that Will was up for grabs! I was in agony for three days, praying no one would claim him. And no one did!
Ah, yes. Life is good. Music please...Vroom! Vroom!.....Leader of the Pack.....Vroom! Vroom! Y'all be well now.
I just wrote two paragraphs and they disappeared. This sort of bother happens quite often. Sometimes my writing on this blog disappears but I find it has been saved in draft format, and I can retrieve it. Sometimes, like today, my writing just totally disappears into the maw of dark energy spacetime. It has gone forever.
Today's baseball games are all night games but for one. Yes, baseball is back being played at night which is as it should be. So today I have some breathing room. I can come out of the realm of fantasy baseball for a few hours and see what is going on elsewhere in the world.
But first a word on The Rules. Every game must have rules. Fantasy Baseball is no exception. So when one of my top top pitchers, Yu Darvish, got a blister on his pitching finger and had to be removed from Sunday's game, I panicked.
One rule requires that each week prior to the start of the first baseball game on Monday, all players must submit their team lineups for the week. A second rule says that the lineup you submit may not include an injured player.
Now, Yu Darvish's blister was a minor injury which would not prevent Yu from pitching on schedule in the upcoming week. However, it was an injury, and sure enough, a tiny icon appeared next to Yu Darvish's name. The icon was a red square with a white cross inside the square. Darvish had been determined by the league to be an injured player.
The penalty for submitting a non-conforming lineup is you lose all your points for the week in question. I am in first place in my league after the first week of play, ( music please. I prefer "Leader of the Pack" Vroom! Vroom! ) but getting hit with such a huge penalty would certainly knock me into last place.
I doubted that this is what the rule intended to accomplish, so I sought help; but time was short. It was Sunday night and I needed an answer by early Monday afternoon, which out here on the West Coast is early Monday morning. So I wrote to the commissioner for clarification.
Monday morning brought no answer from the commish, so I wrote once again.
But the deadline for submitting my lineup got closer and closer, and at the last moment, having received no response, I played it safe. I removed Yu Darvish from my lineup. This left me without the services of the second or third best pitcher in baseball for week 2 of the contest, but what else could I do?
After the deadline had come and gone I received an email from a commissioner. It said that my team lineup was legal.
Of course it was legal! I had just removed Yu Darvish from my lineup, removing any question of the lineup's legality! But my original question remained unanswered.
Later, I received another email (apparently from another commissioner,) (remember: I had written two emails....) The second email said that my lineup would have been illegal and I would have lost all my points for week 2 of the contest.
Sigh of relief. I had done the right thing by removing Yu.
But my interest had been piqued. Out of curiosity, I checked the lineups of my competitors. Of the 9 other teams in my league, 6 included injured players in their lineups. One lineup contained 3 injured players. Were these six other teams all going to receive that terrible penalty?
Well, I wrote the second commissioner another email. I said I didn't want to cause a fuss, but there were six other teams in my league with injured players in their starting lineups. If it was okay for these teams to have injured players in their starting lineups, could I please re-insert Yu Darvish back into my lineup just to keep the playing field even.
The commish responded. He said it is okay to have injured players on your active lineup.
Of course, by then the deadline for submitting the weekly lineup had long passed, and I could not re-insert Yu Darvish into my lineup.
If this confuses you, imagine how it confused me. Well, I've been around this planet for seventy-three years and I knew how this was going to end. The situation was going to end up with me losing Yu Darvish from my lineup for week 2 of the contest, and nobody getting penalized for anything.
So I wrote back to the commissioner, thanking him for clarifying the issue for me; and I told him that in week 3 I was going to load my active lineup with injured players, thereby freeing up a spot for another player on my Reserves team, and maintaining my team's high batting average. I also directed his attention to the section of the rules which indicates that the maximum number of injured players a team may have in its lineup is zero. Go To: League > Details. I asked the commissioner what he thinks it means.
I don't expect a response.
Hey.... I like to end on a positive note, so here it is... Nobody claimed Will Middlebrooks off waivers!
I had commited a huge paux-fas last week, accidentally giving away Will Middlebrooks to anyone who wanted him. A day later, Middlebrooks hit three home runs and a double, and he hit another long fly ball which was caught on the warning track. No Red Sox player has ever hit four home runs in a single game, and Will Middlebrooks came as close to doing it as you possibly can. And none of the other owners noticed that Will was up for grabs! I was in agony for three days, praying no one would claim him. And no one did!
Ah, yes. Life is good. Music please...Vroom! Vroom!.....Leader of the Pack.....Vroom! Vroom! Y'all be well now.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Fantasy Baseball Week One
I used to play in a NYC softball league. The players were all City employees and we played after work. We were split into two Divisions: Northern and Southern. The Northern Division comprised all the teams from Manhattan and The Bronx, and the Southern Division comprised the teams from Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island.
The team I played on always won the Southern Division ; and a team from Harlem always won the Northern Division. Then the team from Harlem always kicked our ass in the championship game.
Most of us played for fun. Some guys would play outfield with a can of beer in one hand and a baseball glove on the other hand. Other guys took the game completely seriously.
Our third baseman, a guy named Phil, was an actual Boston Red Sox reject. Phil took the game seriously. He would bring his brats to the games and these kids would yell at you if you made an error: "You idiot. You're making my father lose!" Many's the time I thought of giving these kids a good hose-down, but Phil was an imposing guy.
Phil and I were not friends; we merely played on the same team. One day, in complete seriousness, Phil said to me, "Softball is my life."
This was about forty years ago but I will never forget that line. "Softball is my life." Jeez. Is that sick or what? I certainly doubted Phil's sanity.
However, at this present moment I'm not so sure. You see, Fantasy Baseball has taken over my life! I think I'm turning into Phil the Red Sox Reject.
Week One of the Fantasy Baseball Season has ended. I am in first place in my league. I have made a terrible mistake, however, and I have put one of my best players on waivers. I tried to correct my error and get him back, but because of League Rules I won't know until the waiver period ends on Tuesday morning if I have succeeded in getting him back. I can't mention the player's name here because one of the other "owners" might see the player's name and claim him off waivers and break my heart.
So I am on pins and needles for another two days. If anyone claims the guy who hit three home runs for the Boston Red Sox today (No. it wasn't Phil,) and who used to play for my fantasy team I may despair and end it all.
Nah! It's just a game.
The team I played on always won the Southern Division ; and a team from Harlem always won the Northern Division. Then the team from Harlem always kicked our ass in the championship game.
Most of us played for fun. Some guys would play outfield with a can of beer in one hand and a baseball glove on the other hand. Other guys took the game completely seriously.
Our third baseman, a guy named Phil, was an actual Boston Red Sox reject. Phil took the game seriously. He would bring his brats to the games and these kids would yell at you if you made an error: "You idiot. You're making my father lose!" Many's the time I thought of giving these kids a good hose-down, but Phil was an imposing guy.
Phil and I were not friends; we merely played on the same team. One day, in complete seriousness, Phil said to me, "Softball is my life."
This was about forty years ago but I will never forget that line. "Softball is my life." Jeez. Is that sick or what? I certainly doubted Phil's sanity.
However, at this present moment I'm not so sure. You see, Fantasy Baseball has taken over my life! I think I'm turning into Phil the Red Sox Reject.
Week One of the Fantasy Baseball Season has ended. I am in first place in my league. I have made a terrible mistake, however, and I have put one of my best players on waivers. I tried to correct my error and get him back, but because of League Rules I won't know until the waiver period ends on Tuesday morning if I have succeeded in getting him back. I can't mention the player's name here because one of the other "owners" might see the player's name and claim him off waivers and break my heart.
So I am on pins and needles for another two days. If anyone claims the guy who hit three home runs for the Boston Red Sox today (No. it wasn't Phil,) and who used to play for my fantasy team I may despair and end it all.
Nah! It's just a game.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Bring Back Football! (I freak after losing one baseball game)
There has only been one game played so far in the 2013 baseball season, and I've had enough already!! Bring back Football!
This, of course, means that I lost my first baseball bet of the year.
How many times have I told you that I've never been able to make money betting baseball? Well, my poor luck appears to be continuing. My bet tonight was Texas over Houston. I called Houston "the worst team in baseball" in my previous post on this site. Well, the worst team in baseball just kicked my ass...8 to 2.
I think my Texas players were playing soccer. They kept trying to catch the baseball with their feet. Now and then they would almost pick up the baseball with one of their hands but then they would quickly pull their hand back just in time to avoid a yellow flag or whatever. You're not allowed to use your hands in soccer..
I am steeling myself for tomorrow. One loss does not constitute defeat. I am burnishing my sword. (I don't know what the hell that means, but it seems appropriate.)
I am betting something like eight games tomorrow. If they all turn out like tonight's game, it's Harakiri time for me. I am betting The Mets over San Diego; Pittsburgh over The Cubs; Milwaukee over Colorado; San Francisco Giants over the L.A. Dodgers; Atlanta Braves over the Phillies; the Red Sox over the Yankees; the K.C. Royals over the White Sox; Seattle over Oakland; and the L.A. Angels over the Cincinnati Reds.
I think that adds up to nine games. Do not rank me among the faint-hearted.
Returning to the Houston Astros win of tonight......Last year they had the worst team in baseball, except for maybe the Cubs. And on paper the Astros hadn't improved over the off-season.
The Rangers, on the other hand, had one genuine star last year. His name was Josh Hamilton. The remainder of the Ranger's team was mediocre except for Ian Kinsler, their second baseman. So what did the Rangers do? They traded Josh Hamilton, their star player, to the Los Angeles Angels!
Last year the Rangers were a team in contention for the playoffs and possibly the World Series. This year they have no shot. Maybe that's why they played soccer tonight.
If all my teams lose tomorrow, don't send flowers to my funeral. Instead, send money to your local children's hospital.
This, of course, means that I lost my first baseball bet of the year.
How many times have I told you that I've never been able to make money betting baseball? Well, my poor luck appears to be continuing. My bet tonight was Texas over Houston. I called Houston "the worst team in baseball" in my previous post on this site. Well, the worst team in baseball just kicked my ass...8 to 2.
I think my Texas players were playing soccer. They kept trying to catch the baseball with their feet. Now and then they would almost pick up the baseball with one of their hands but then they would quickly pull their hand back just in time to avoid a yellow flag or whatever. You're not allowed to use your hands in soccer..
I am steeling myself for tomorrow. One loss does not constitute defeat. I am burnishing my sword. (I don't know what the hell that means, but it seems appropriate.)
I am betting something like eight games tomorrow. If they all turn out like tonight's game, it's Harakiri time for me. I am betting The Mets over San Diego; Pittsburgh over The Cubs; Milwaukee over Colorado; San Francisco Giants over the L.A. Dodgers; Atlanta Braves over the Phillies; the Red Sox over the Yankees; the K.C. Royals over the White Sox; Seattle over Oakland; and the L.A. Angels over the Cincinnati Reds.
I think that adds up to nine games. Do not rank me among the faint-hearted.
Returning to the Houston Astros win of tonight......Last year they had the worst team in baseball, except for maybe the Cubs. And on paper the Astros hadn't improved over the off-season.
The Rangers, on the other hand, had one genuine star last year. His name was Josh Hamilton. The remainder of the Ranger's team was mediocre except for Ian Kinsler, their second baseman. So what did the Rangers do? They traded Josh Hamilton, their star player, to the Los Angeles Angels!
Last year the Rangers were a team in contention for the playoffs and possibly the World Series. This year they have no shot. Maybe that's why they played soccer tonight.
If all my teams lose tomorrow, don't send flowers to my funeral. Instead, send money to your local children's hospital.
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